HSS8123 – Three ‘Found’ Poems

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Excerpts from my final degree show project

MMXV (Lenz v. Universal Music)
m
y my, jukebox ravager
fame, metrosexual envy
my label’s moxy even,
mum waxes verdant!

Supreme Ruler: Trump Rising
Supreme Ruler Ultimate – Version 9.0.70 Changelog:
• Leaders for Modern World updated
• New Facilities available: Trump Tower, Trump Wall
• ISIS and Kurdistan are now active regions
• Units without a valid region now eliminated on load
• Greater use of high volatility settings
• Clear out product display data when a region dies
• Tactical nukes will now auto fire
These changes apply to all players regardless of whether they add the new Trump Rising DLC Content.

Derek Savage vs. I Hate Everything/Your Movie Sucks
Eager rage nerds grade adverse ads.
Dad Derek sees red, seeks erasage.
Dark saga ravages geeks, greed agrees.
Nerd evade adverse drek.
Derek deserves served.

 

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HSS8123 – 20 Things I’ve Stolen, by David Weinberger

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  • I took an extra napkin from a Taco Bell for unspecified use “later.”
  • I sat on a bench on a hot day, enjoying the breeze as the man next to me fanned himself.
  • I read the headlines of a newspaper that was for sale in a kiosk box.
  • I divided a single-serving DingDong in two, and had it for dessert on two consecutive days.
  • I listened all the way through to a Metallica song emanating from my neighbor’s radio, but closed my window when the commercial came on.
  • I remembered the movie times in my newspaper from the day before so I wouldn’t have to buy a copy of the paper today.
  • When a friend’s cat chose my lap to sit in, I petted it, precisely to discourage it from moving to the lap of its rightful owner.
  • I said “What a long, strange trip it’s been” without air quotes.
  • On the Amtrak “quiet car,” I listened to a man in the seat ahead of me explaining to the bored woman next to him how he gets such a great shine on his shoes. I have since used his technique, successfully.
  • I have stared carefully at reproductions of great paintings.
  • I asked for and received a “tasting spoon” of mint pistachio ice cream, anticipating, correctly, that I would not like it.
  • I smelled the aromatherapy candles in an aisle in the Stop ‘n’ Shop.
  • Frequently have I browsed stores with absolutely no intent to purchase. On some such occasions, I have felt fabrics I did not intend to buy.
  • I placed a bag on the seat next to me on the subway.
  • I continued to wear in public running shoes after the Nike “swoosh” wore off.
  • In a Italian restaurant, I entered their “win a free lunch” contest by putting into the jar a business card from a job I had recently left, with my new phone number written in by hand.
  • I have retold the joke about the man who meets a pirate in a bar without ever once explicitly acknowledging that I was not its author.
  • I gazed with lust at another man’s bikini-clad wife.
  • I deeply inhaled the smell of popcorn in a movie theater, but I did not buy any.
  • One late summer evening, I purposefully and with intent committed to memory the purple of the clouds. That I still remember the edge of the chill was unpremeditated, however.

Poem stolen from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-weinberger/20-things-ive-stolen_b_116817.html

 

HSS8123 – Kanto Centos

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A cento is a poetical work composed of verses or passages taken from other authors
Wikipedia – Cento (poetry)

No matter what their specialties or aims, there is one code that they all follow—when two Trainers make eye contact, they must have a battle
Bulbapedia – Pokémon Trainer

 

Seafoam Islands
Hey, wait up! What’s the hurry?
You looked at me, didn’t you?
I never saw you at the party.
That glance… It’s intriguing.
What do you want? Why are you here?
Are you on vacation too?
I was getting bored.
Have you ever gone swimming in the sea at night?

The Fighting Dojo
We martial artists fear nothing!
I haven’t seen you around before. So you think you are pretty tough?
Nothing tough frightens me! I break boulders for training!
Hey there! I’ll take you on!
I’m going to take you down! Prepare to be shocked!
My chance of losing? Not even one percent!
Huh? Who? What?
That can’t be!

Silph Co. Office Building
You! How dare you enter uninvited?
It’s off limits here! Go home!
Our invisible walls have you frustrated?
Stumped by our invisible floor?
Does our unseen power scare you?
Why did you come here?
I don’t care if you’re lost.
Only the chosen can pass here!

Mt. Moon
What’s beyond the horizon?
Did you come to explore too?
What’s most important in everyday lives?
Ahh! Feel the sun and the wind!
The sea cleanses my body and soul!
Isn’t it relaxing just floating like this?

Ssh! My brain is picking up radio signals!

 

Seven Stories/Late Shows followup

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Its been such a busy few weeks that I’ve barely had time to take stock, but I’m very happy with how the event went. It was a real evening of discovery, with pop-up performances from the wonderful Doug Garry, Jayne Dent, Rowan McCabe, Rosie Calvert & Will Finn.

I still can’t quite process how great it was they were also keen to get on-board and delivered such killer performances. And nothing went wrong! No angry parents who heard their children being exposed to metaphors, and no keyboards dropped in the Ouseburn river. I’m so relieved, and so grateful to Seven Stories and the Culture Lab for making it possible.

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For a more detailed behind-the-scenes look, check out my course blog posts here and here, or watch some video clips from the event itself here! I wish I more time to write (i.e. enthuse endlessly) about this, but for now life is still coursework mayhem. Really interesting coursework mayhem – Creative Arts Practice is a wonderful course that has given me the chance to get stuck into a lot of cool things – but still. Maybe soon (-:

 

Spoken Word Adventures – Hammer and Tongue

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Been a bit snowed under this last week, what with one of my deadlines being quietly moved forward by three days without anyone telling me (hahahahahaha I survived), but something awesome happened this weekend – Team Edinburgh won another slam! Me, Catherine, Joe and Doug (those talented bastards) went to down to London to compete in the Hammer and Tongue National Slam Final, having qualified at Unislam. We went up against some incredible teams from the various different branches of Hammer and Tongue in two rounds of group pieces, and we won!

It was a great weekend. It was also exhausting – it ran for around 8 hours on the Saturday and 4 on the Sunday – but it was jam-packed with some incredible talent: Theresa Lola (who won the singles competition) and Kat Francois, to name just two. There were some familiar faces from the Edinburgh scene – Matthew Macdonald and Iona Lee – and a whole host of incredible performers. It was kickass.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to sleep forever.

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I’m off to sleep forever.

 

Uprooted

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I uprooted a shrub at my grandmother’s today
and it really didn’t want to go.

It had the resilience of wood, yes
and the tenacity of a planted heart
(fibrous veins pump more slowly)
but it was also more resourceful
fighting back more coarse and forceful
than I ever expected from a vegetable.

It rallied every trick of nature.
Fought against me root and claw
old branch, new shoot, prickle-leaf and more.
Attacked me with its nettle neighbours,
trip-slip-stung me to the floor
aching
and knowing absolutely what the mud must think of me.

Its defences ran deep, see
but I was determined too.
Siege-ready they were, my forces
well-trained in the art of undermining.

I planted foot on trunk and pushed it
I planted foot on spade and shunted
down
I planted foot on spade and hand on trunk
and pushed and heaved and grunting, sunk
until I rip-tore it with a cracking;
pebbles, worms from the soil a-bleeding
crumbling
a knotted trophy in my workshop glove.

A prize
ripe for re-planting.

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My Nan’s Book Group Could Beat Up Your Nan’s Book Group

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Something’s up in Little Dudley
where the local book group meets
there’s a tension at the bowling green
there are whispers in the streets.

See, this has always been the Woolf Pack’s town
since a time before my birth
when my Nan and Mrs Dalloway
drove the Grandmothers Grimm off their turf.

But there’s a new threat on the scene these days
at the lakehouse in the park
where, with graffiti cans in wrinkled hands,
the Milton’s Angels left their mark.

So Nan’s going round to Josephine’s
and calling up Brigid as well
so they can gather up the posse
and send those basic biddies back to hell.

“Bring To the Lighthouse and Orlando
and A Room of One’s Own will be critical,”
she says to make sure that those crotchety crones
are gonna choke on their Werther’s Originals.

So its handbags at dawn
for a literary war
they’ve got their hatpins
got their letter-openers drawn
spitting vitriol
and witty quotations
spun cleverly into threatening prognostications
not lost on their brimstony foes
(they’re pulling hair, they’re stomping toes)
a hellish host of demon dames
with a hundred late fees to their nefarious names.

But at last the Woolf Pack wins the day
and may all OAP book groups know
that my Nan is better than your Nan
and your Nan can come have a go.

hells-grannies
Photo credit: Monty Python