Log Number 22b
Sorry, I had a bit of a coughing fit there. There’s a nasty cold or something going round the ship, no idea where it came from. Anyway, I’ll keep trying with the music. I have to do better. I promised, I promised your dad I’d do well by you.
I know. I’ll find life! Life, on another planet. And I’ll name it after you. Yes. Some horrible great stinking alien with eyes and mouths in all sorts of unspeakable places – named after you, Abby. That’ll do it. And I won’t forget your birthday again.
Log Number 25
I forgot your face. It’s just… gone.
I still have your picture, but it doesn’t look real anymore. Is that really what you look like? Looked like. It’s been so long, you probably don’t even look the same. Have you dyed your hair? It used to be brown, didn’t it? It’s brown in the picture. I asked you to send a new picture with the returning supply shuttle, but there was nothing from you, not even a message. I guess I’m not going to hear from you until I get home.
Abby, I… I’m sorry. I’m going to delete this log when I’m finished recording. You don’t deserve to hear this. The next log will be better, and you’ll never know this happened. Yeah. I’ll do that. Soon. Tomorrow, maybe. I’ll send you a better message.
Log Number 26
You won’t receive this log either. But I had to make it anyway. I’ve gotten so used to doing this that it’s pretty much the only way I can get my thoughts straight nowadays. It’s strange. But anyway, I should come out and say it, for the record. Or, not. For me.
I’m breaking up with you.
Nothing’s happened. There isn’t anyone else. But I just can’t keep this up any longer. It’s eating me up and I hate it, and if I don’t put a stop it then I’ll hate you too. Although I don’t know how I ever could put a stop to it. Before I go on the ship, we said forever didn’t we? Well there’s no way of taking that back now, even if we want to. I’d never get your reply, not until I get back home, and by then it would all be too late.
I’m sorry. I thought I could handle it, being away from you so long. I thought I’d be able to remember why I promised the things that I did. I guess I was wrong.
Goodbye, Abby. I’m sure you’ll hear from me again soon.
Log Number 44
This is it! We’ve found – or we think we’ve found, actually, really this time – we think we’ve found life! Finally, after all this time, it actually been worth it. It’s only a few microscopic plankton-type things, but on a completely alien world! I’m sure they’ll censor that, but I don’t care. I’m coming home! The captain is setting the course as we speak.
Just think. We can do it all, Abby. Buy a house, get married, have kids, all the things we promised we’d do. I hope you got my mix tape, and I hope I managed to delete those… other logs, the ones where I was feeling down.
I’m coming home, Abby. I’ll see you soon.